I have people ask me how I cope. They say things like wow you seem so happy and okay with everything. The truth is I am not sure if it is coping or if it is just a front. Its like my friend Leah said ““Having CF isn’t really a choice, so I just cope because I have to. There really is no option.”
You enjoy friends who know how to make you feel taken care of and can laugh at your awkwardly serious comments. Laughter is sometimes the only thing that can keep you from crying so you try to make light of a situation that is scaring you. You want people to understand so you make comments in a joking manner and when they laugh with you it is a relief because maybe the situation or the truth isn’t as cruel as it seems.
Friends that embrace you for who you are and can find ways to graciously take care of you are one of the many blessings that get you through. As a fighter you hate to ask for help, but it is more than a pride issue. As someone who is sick all the time you feel like a constant burden and the last thing you want is to draw more attention to yourself. It’s not that you are oblivious to your dependency; you just hate feeling like all you do is take take take from everyone.
This last weekend I was blessed to have a group of friends like this. I have always had people in my life that were gracious and have made a point to pray for me and visit me when I get sick and to check in on me, but to see a group of friends my age do that, it meant the world to me. I realize that only my other friends with CF understand what I am going through, but this particular setting and group of friends made me feel like they get it. I felt like they understood me. I don’t feel good most of the time, but I try my hardest to laugh and have fun and be as normal as I can, but sometimes after you fight for so long you just want someone to acknowledge it. Not only did they acknowledge it, they made a point to show me that they care and are going to take care of me.
To that group of friends, Thank You!!
Blessed by Kari...that's me.
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